His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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