I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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