So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
