I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
