Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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