My first STD was from a foam party
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
