im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
