Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
