I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
