Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Randomize
