I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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