Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
