He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
