But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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