Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
