worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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