I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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