i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
