I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
