you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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