dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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