dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
