Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
