Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
