Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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