i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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