Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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