i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
