btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
