I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
