There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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