I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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