i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
