also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I could have mohawked her pubes.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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