I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
