What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
