I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
