im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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