Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
my god I love twenty year old dicks
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
