Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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