Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
