And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
