Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
