It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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