The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
