so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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