I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm just crazy horny about you
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
