I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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