She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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