we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
