Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
