if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
