hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
